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Friday, June 21st, 2002
7:20 pm - heh wow i never write in here
well lets see, i'm graduating highschool, thats fun.I'm goin to miss the track crew but a lot of them are staying near by.We ended 9-0 winning the Colonial Council Duel and Invitational Championships. I was a Captian and great leader to these kids who are now fucked for next year.I got about 7 phone numbers in my year book and i think i will keep in touch with them all. They are my life. Got lost and went to Kingston, car died at the movies. got a sign that says juice hehehe. It's weird last year i was the big prep and hung out with all of them and now, one of my best friends is Eric Whiting and i have much love for my girl Amber. Girls in general like me more now. i donno if it's that they are rebelling against there parents by going with a big jacked black guy or what but whatever, it works out for me.I've been labeled a Hottie and i'm starting to belive all that bs that i said b4 to peeps like Amanda and her friends. It
s funny how i still haven't had a girlfriend since her. i laughed when i saw the guy see is with now wit her at the mall when i was getting the coaches some stuff. Kinda sad I guess I was her only good catch. Anyways, i'm not ready for College, i'll prolly flunk the first semester and then get my ass in gear.I'm prolly moving to main stream ravena now, and maybe getting a cheap car for myself.hmmm,gained weight and muscle.Gu is fun got a raise to 5:85 hahaha and now got another to 5:95 but i'm still bored with the place, got application to k mart haha so great aimee and joe work there.Hmmm...anything else...er....um...Track god Dave Whydra...he just had to get in this one..ok guess thats it prolly wont write for another good few monthes cool wonder where and what i'll be then.heh well till then. I luv ya HoodRat ;P Peace

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Monday, January 28th, 2002
11:23 pm - I am the one.
The Matrix Character Test - Your Results Are In!

Whoa! You're Neo!
click to take it!




You sometimes doubt yourself - who you are and what you can do. You're a curious person, with questions and concerns about the world. You go along with the crowd and aim to please others to your best ability. But when you finally discover what you're really capable of, you can do some serious ass kickin'! You're fast and furious, and you will always stick up for what you believe, and those who you care for. Not only that, but you're charming and charismatic, so you get along with people well, and others often look up to you

current mood: amused

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Thursday, December 27th, 2001
11:55 pm - : )
hehehe thats what i call self-confidence.

current mood: amused

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11:32 pm - YO!
I'm the MUTHA FUCKEN GAME !
Here's to all my freaks out there.... BIG POPPA PUMP IS YOUR HOOK UP. HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!

Cause i'm 180, proof and the ladies have to fight for my shit. and anyone who can't survive my H-bomb will be left in they dust.It's a ride that only comes to town once. and Fuck yall who be fronting my shit. Tis times call for a fireplace and some wine and a girl to help pass the time. all yall know who you be and i'll prolly give you a holla later. As for me i'm off to bed thinking about that one i'm hoping to sweep off they feet.

current mood: hot

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Monday, November 12th, 2001
10:53 pm
I've heard people say... to much of anything is no good for you baby... but.. i don't know about that there are many times we've loved and we've shared love and made love it just doesn't seem to me thats it's enough. it's just not enough baby... just not enough
MY DARLING I... CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOUR LOVE BABE! GIRL I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW WHY... BUT I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOUT LOVE BABE!

current mood: lethargic

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Wednesday, October 10th, 2001
11:34 pm - Dude today i pushed a car by myself for fun,...i'm one tuff mf
aparently i replyied to one of my own entries ... lol i didn't even know untill today lol i never even thought about the fact that another name was on my friends list. i guess you still remember my password hehehehe senoir year is going to be very long if i don't get out of this rut... time to check my priorties....

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Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001
8:06 pm
some kid asked me for my autograph today.......
thats so fn cool.

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Friday, September 21st, 2001
10:42 pm
watch out world howie has the right to own the road :oP

current mood: happy

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Wednesday, September 19th, 2001
12:03 am - Time Is Up !
If tomorrow all the things were gone Id worked for all my life,
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife.
Id thank my lucky stars to be living here today,
Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they cant take that away.

And Im proud to be an American where as least I know Im free.
And I wont forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And Id gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
Cause there aint no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennessee,
across the plains of Texas, from sea to shining sea,

From Detroit down to Houston and New York to LA,
Well, theres pride in every American heart,
and its time to stand and say:

Im proud to be an American where at least I know Im free.
And I wont forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And Id gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
Cause there aint no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A.


hey binny... you want to fuck with my family... you've just pissied off the wrong guy... i prey we nuke you but we won't i'll walk apon the soil of your country and spill your blood on it. you want to cheer and celibrate this tragity...... well you are going to hear every last true americans voice on your day of reckoning and i'll be there i cut you and watch the blood pour from your body and the rage i will unleach on you is indecribable and you'll be brought to a swift justice and our flag well wave high in the air as you take your last breath that well be my promise the the thousands who you killed and those fallen hero's who tried to clean and save thoughs from your trechery. america is a force you'll feel and your people will as well. YOU WANT TERROR ! I'LL GIVE YOU TERROR ! MAY GOD FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT I MUCT DO AS I STRIKE YOU DOWN FOR THE THOUSANDS KILLED AND MILLIONS AFFFECTED! too get to the point. stand and fight you want to play with the big boyz...???? i say


JUST BRING IT

current mood: pissed off

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Friday, August 10th, 2001
2:30 am
decisons

the moon illuminates the night sky. thousands of little dimonds in the sky. you flip a coin. heads, he begins to think growing ever more aware of the heat in his pocket, flips again, heads, dissipointment nothin more he wants then tails...he trys to reaconcile. flips again, heads, what are the chances??? enraged he throws the coin away, mad at the world that has deceived him. fury, maddness envolopes his mind, inferno, he goes to pick up the coin... but the coin had landed on tails... his life ends that night, because tails never fails.

current mood: creative

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Thursday, August 9th, 2001
1:13 am - i feel like opening up and writting some peoms so here is goes
Where

a ray of sunshine tookin away, like a cancer attacking my soul, where are the docters ??? does anyone know how to fix a broken heart ?

Alone

when i saw him and i knew i had to get out of this place, away from all who hurt, in the eye's of the blissful moon, i weep, turn away from me i'm closed to the world

What Really Matters

hot, the temperature is riseing, 1 drop of sweat drips off the forehead, your fans are waiting for you... walk out onto the field the fans erupt you dictate there every cheer.close your eyes, take in all you can.eyes open again and your alone, a quiet desolate world you live in, alone, you see a image of a beautiful women you run but you can't move. you urn to move but your stuck, she waits for you and slowly disappears, she waves and blows a kiss... you just lost the only thing that really matters in this world.

current mood: drained

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Sunday, August 5th, 2001
4:41 pm - ...
I call you up
You pick up
You call my bluff
On the card to love
You hold too close
Your hands to your chest
I can read your eyes
But I confess
It's lonely far from you, oh

Even when you're right by me
It's only why I wait for you
To take my hand

Why do I beg like a child for your candy?
Why do I come after you like I do, I love you?
Wherever you are
I swear
You be my angel
You

I play my cards the best I can
But I lose my luck when you're not here
My darling heart
Won't you please give in?
I may be strong
But I want you back again

When you're not here it's hard to pretend
It's all alright again
When you're not here love it's hard to pretend
It's all alright but still
Why do I beg like a child for your candy?
Why do I run after you like I do, I love you?
Whatever you are
I swear
You be my angel, you

Watch the deck
Count your cards
Makes no sense
That I'm always losing
When you're gone

Why do I beg like a child for your candy?
Why do I come after you like I do, I love you
Whatever you are
I swear
You'll be my angel, you
When you're gone

current mood: depressed

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Saturday, August 4th, 2001
10:01 am - I've hit rock bottom
I don't know what to do anymore, i don't feel whole anymore, life doesn't seem...happy anymore there is only one cure but that option has been unwillingly tooken away from me. All i have is the memories and the notes and pictures, but what i don't have is my heart it was left in the road at 12:38AM today

current mood: depressed

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Tuesday, July 31st, 2001
7:06 pm - it's been real
well live journal your where fun and annoying and nice, but the only reason why i use you was because it was nice caring about people and seeing whats new and how peoples days where... and since the only one i care about at all on live journal ins't writeing so i can see it anymore i feel no need at all to writing here anymore. c-ya it's been real

current mood: stressed

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Monday, July 9th, 2001
1:54 am - well...
it's weird that sometimes you feel like nothin will ever be ok until you see someone again. isn't it ?

current mood: lonely

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Tuesday, July 3rd, 2001
2:50 am - gee i wonder...?
What makes a man ? It you ask anyone it's not the outside...it's the inside that makes nice people nice or bad people bad. so my question is...what is sooooooo bad about whether someone has dark or light skin... we are all people just the same. And if this is so bad why do white people go to tanning ? all tanning does is bring color to your skin... which is exsactly whats wrong with being black,latin, cuban, or asian....wtf i don't get it. and what is so much better about being white ? is it the fact that you sunburn...???...or is it the fact that you can play a banjo in the woods with some other "white folk" and choose someone to attack and pick blacks because it's easy to spot them out in a crowd... "go back to africa ", ok I will, but you better go back to england, or france, or germany, or norway or wearever the hell you came from because christofer columbus discovered nothing. indains where here before him. it's like me walking to you house and saying i dicovered your property and kick you out of your house but because I'm nice I'll let you sit in a little spot on the lawn. aka reservations. there is nothing i hate more then someone who is like i'm not racist... i just call people nig*ers, or i don't think blacks should go out with whites or i just make jokes about them. and then they try to be nice to you...well you know what DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME, MY TIME ON THIS EARTH IS FAR TO PRECIOUS TO BE SPENT WITH THE LIKES OF YOU!!!
That was a entry that turned from a message to the person who know who she is **** to just my letting off a little steam, but rest assured i hate you **** your bethlaham scum and not even worth the effort i'm surprised i even wrote a journal entry about it your just lucky. one last thing... your a bitch

current mood: aggravated

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Monday, June 18th, 2001
10:50 am - :o(
Only In Dreams


With loving and hoping

I wander the nights

Tears hide in shadows

Longing for you,

The moon learns my secrets

And sends you my dreams

Comforting my sadness,

For my beloved in lands far away

Dreams of me now;

Our yesterday's silent glances

We both lie asleep,

Dreaming of Us

Together is happiness,

That for now

We find only in dreams.

untitled

Dreamer gazing with looks so warm,

Though eyes shades of gold and desert sands;

Pure love's no distant image

Just you so far away in foreign lands of memories

Where the full moon wanders

Between midnight stars

Please close your eyes and think of me

But never say good-bye...




A Thousand Hopes I'd be With You



Missing you

Loving you

It seems like forever

Just dreaming of days when we'll be together


Remembering times filled with laughter

Sometimes tears

Missing you so much,

Through to many lonely days


Smiling through sadness

Remembering long ago

current mood: depressed

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Friday, June 8th, 2001
7:08 pm - today...
Ok it's one thing to fuck with me cause I can fire back but don't you EVER FUCKING DARE... ta fuck around with my mom.It's bad enough that you lie to me but then you tell my mom a lie and tell her to pick me up. You lying sack of shit, I hope you fuckin die! and when you die it's will be fun because I'll make noise at the funeral and shit on your grave. dig you up and piss in your fuckin faggot ass mouth !!! Actually I have nothing against homosexuals so I'm sorry but I can't think of anyway else to describe it. I fact, homosexuals are a lot cooler and nicer then this jackass. Die fucker try it again and may whoever makes the decisions upstairs forgive me for what I might do to him. Amanda, I miss you. I love you. I want to see you this weekend we got to figure something out.

current mood: aggravated

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Tuesday, June 5th, 2001
12:08 am - june4th already...
Wow doesn't seem like it but me and mandy have been going out for 3 month's now. Thats funny cause her dad didn't think we would still be going out, as well as a fe other people but hey fuxk'em all cause we are and were happy. lol I hate the fact that I didn't see her today but it was out of my hands.I don't know why people would ever have a low self-esteem... This person is so nice and a great person but said person doesn't believe it. well ,mandy I guess thats what I'm going to do now. Get this person to realize how great he/she is.Mandy I ment every word I wrote to you in that IM.
Today there was a fight in the school at lunch. it was cool yea it was pretty bitchy but there was some good shots put in.I got my yearbook and I'm getting the star treatment at ftbl camp it's cool.mom is getting on my case about english so i bettre start crackin down for the end of the year. I hate this part.

current mood: sore

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Saturday, June 2nd, 2001
8:30 pm - ahhhhh
Well yesterday I went to school and this is really getting old. I can't stand my friends. Some are ok but in general...they are pissing me off... who really wants to see everyone all over each other... constantly !!! well i can understand but then it's just me and rob and after awhile he leaves and i have nobody to talk to and then i start missing mandy and it's like fuck you guys i'm leaving. then right after school i got to hang out with mandy at the mall. it weird she spent $70 but got nothin major just like normal little stuff. I got a new shirt and it's cool.We missied the movie but thats ok cause we still had a good time. I wish I could have given her everything she wanted but....damn she wanted everything !!! lol she is just fun to be around. Sleeping on my shoulder was so great it was like wow true happyness is discovered in the littlest things. Nothin could hurt me last night comeing home I was flying.
Today I took my SAT's they are easy as hell ! who ever told me they were hard can kiss my ass. if i get anything wrong it would just be the stupid mistakes everyone makes like forgeting the negative sign or something. Well I got home and I'm chillin, got some sleep. I miss amanda ! I wish she lived next door so I could walk over everyday and hug her :) awe she is so great.I love her so much.
I have to go up to troy tommorrow morning to get some stats to send out to college's for ftbl.After that go to work. Then ftbl camp again!!! I never have any time to myself. Not to mention the work I have to catch up on. Damn I wish there was more time in the day. I love you mandy !!!

current mood: busy

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